


Good News for Ed

by ColhanTheDeviant



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Humor, Irony, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-12
Updated: 2005-06-12
Packaged: 2017-11-21 16:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColhanTheDeviant/pseuds/ColhanTheDeviant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winry plays a harmless prank on Ed, and it blows up into a humorous and ironic turn of event. OneshotFirst FMA fiction</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good News for Ed

Fourteen year old Alphonse Elric looked out the window of his and his brothers' room in Central; he watched as the rain outside slid down the glass of the window, as he was doing so his red eyes glanced at the road leading out of the main yard of the building. His older brother Ed along with their childhood friend and Ed's Auto Mail mechanic Winry had left early that morning to the doctors office; the Militaries doctors weirdly enough were unable to make it to work, thanks to the roads flooding due to the past few days of on and off down pours of rain. It was odd to the younger Elric brother what had happened that morning that had made Ed be literally dragged to the doctors; his brother had always been very healthy and hardly ever got sick at all, yet today Ed showed signs that something was not right, not right at all.

**Flashback**

_After once again drinking water with his breakfast instead of the glass of milk; Edward Elric stood from the table of the cafeteria his younger brother stood as well, the suit of armor that was his temporary body creaked as he stood and followed his older brother. The two brothers began walking down the hall to their room; it was raining outside as it had been for the past couple of days, it was beginning to make both boys restless. Not that they wouldn't go out in the rain not that they minded getting wet; it was just the fact of a curtain blond Auto Mail technician, welding a wrench coming to Central to do a check on Ed's Auto Mail arm and leg, that stopped Ed from even putting a toe outside the militaries main building._

_"HEY ED!" came a very familiar voice echoed down the hall._

_"Oh no…" Ed looked over his shoulder to see Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes running down the hall; he was carrying a black leather photo album that looked brand new, and at least three times thicker then a normal photo album should be. The man came running up to them shoving the album in Ed's face, now with a better look the album had Hughes daughters name stamped in gold on the front "Hey Ed take a look at this" Hughes said shoving the album into the elder Elric's face and opening the huge album._

_"This is a picture is Elicia following me around holding her new stuffed bunny, she looks like a little angel doesn't she?"_

_"Hughes?"_

_"Here she is with her hair down; she's my little Goddess of cuteness"_

_"Hey Hughes…"_

_"Here she is with the doll her grandmother gave her! She makes such a good mommy"_

_"HUGHES!"_

_Hughes stopped pointing to the countless pictures in the album and looked at Ed; "What is it Ed?"_

_Ed sighed; at least he got him out of his many rambles about his daughter "Have you seen Winry? I mean is she here yet?"_

_Hughes got that look on his face; the same look he always got now days when Ed mentioned Winry, Ed wasn't really in much of a mood for it. "Hey Ed you know Winry is a pretty girl you know? When are you going to get a girl friend? Oh and get married! I COULD TAKE PICTURES OF ELICIA BEING YOU AND WINRYS FLOWER GIRL!" Hughes gushed at the idea of his little girl in a white dress holding a basket of flowers. Edward nearly choked on his tongue trying to respond, Al was too busy trying to hold in his giggles._

_"SHE'S JUST FIXES MY AUTO MAIL! THAT'S ALL" Ed said getting un comfortable; but Hughes was to busy walking down the hall, talking to himself about being at the hospital when he and Winry had their first child, that will grow to have 'mommies' light blond hair and 'daddies' gold eyes and wear their hair in 'daddies' braid. Ed just stared off into space listening to Hughes babbling while Al was unable to hold his now near hysterical giggling; Al had to laugh at how red his older brother's face was, it was just too funny not to laugh, Ed noticed the heat in his face and screamed. "WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT! SHE'S MY FREAKIN AUTO MAIL MECHANIC!" just began stomping down the hall only to fall face down on the floor from a flying wrench._

_"Honestly Ed, do you have to swear that much? And in front of your little brother all the time too" Ed heard Winry's voice behind him._

_Ed picked himself off the floor and rubbed the egg sized lump on his head; he glanced over his shoulder to see the Auto Mail mechanic standing beside his younger brother, her arms crossed in front of her and she was wearing the usual out fit she always had on. "Winry what are you doing here? I thought you said you'd be here by twelve am?" Ed said, with the rain the trains were working slower then normal._

_"I was but the trains had to skip a stop since the station was under repairs" Winry said who had her tool box and the deadly wrench in her other hand. She calmly walked down the hall over to Ed "Come on Ed, lets get this done" she said grabbing the collar of his red jacket and presided to drag him down the hall to his and Al's usual dorm room. While Ed kicked his feet around trying to free himself from the auto mail mechanic's grip; other military officials backed off to the side, there was not one person in Central that did not know the true destructive power of the older Elric brother, mostly it was when his height was mentioned but still…_

_"WINRY I CAN WALK YOU KNOW!" Ed yelled unknowingly kicking a new comer in military in the groin._

_"Quit being such a baby!"_

_"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE BABY!" Ed screamed taking the remark as an insult to his height and kicking yet another innocent bystander in the shins._

_"YOU THAT'S WHO! YOU ACT LIKE ONE ENOUGH TO FOOL ANYONE!" Winry said doing the unthinkable and acknowledging the usual remark that came flying out of Ed's mouth when any sentence with the words "short", "little", "runt", and "baby" were spoken._

_Ed flabbier gassed that someone for the first time remarked about the usual ranting that came out of his mouth, was too in a daze from the shock to not further comment of being dragged the remaining distance to the room he and his brother shared. Meanwhile Al was busy apologizing to all the victims of Ed's kicking tantrum. After that was done he dragged a chair over to the door of the dorm room and sat down to wait; all the while listening to the whispers of conversation between his brother and Winry, every so often a loud clank of metal hitting bone was heard when Winry hit Ed over the head after one of his remarks. Finally after only half an hour Winry came out of the room, wiping the oil from her hands on the rag she always carried around._

_"Well, I say that went pretty fast" Winry said smiling as she stuffed her rag into her pocket and began to rearrange her tools; Edward came out of the room flexing his auto mail arm, obviously Winry had not only fixed up anything wrong in the auto mail limbs but she had oiled them, and by the brilliant shine coming from the metal she had polished them as well. As he always did after having Winry look over his auto mail, he walked back into the dorm to the bathroom to take a shower, in order to wash the bits of metal out of his hair due to Winry's near constant poundings. As the sound of running water came from the bathroom Al was left with Winry for company._

_"I wish the rain would stop the front of the building looks like a pond" Winry said._

_"I know, Roy was going to go to see if the gang that had been high jacking military supplies cars were captured. But when he opened the door he nearly drowned" Al said; he remembered that he and Ed had been in the hall when it happened, Ed had thrown in a few commented of how the Flame Alchemist could help if he couldn't use his alcamy in rain._

_"Oh by the way Al" Winry said in a sneaky tone as she got that look in her eyes, "You know how your brother never drinks milk?" she asked._

_"Yah…"_

_"Well I'm going to pull a little prank on him" Winry said her eyes shining evilly._

_"You’re going to make brother drink milk aren't you?" Al asked already knowing were this was going._

_"Yup!"_

_"But how? Everytime someone brings that stuff anywhere near him he doesn't want to be anywhere near it" Al said._

_"Oh I know that, that's why I'm going to trick him into drinking it without even knowing!" Winry said._

_"I…don't think…"_

_"Oh come on Al, it's just a harmless practical joke" Winry said smiling and ran off into the hall, Al sighed, hopefully his brother wouldn't too mad at a harmless joke._

**_8 Mniutes Later_ **

_Ed came out of the bathroom rubbing a towel on his head to dry his hair. He was fully dressed in his usual black pants, black shirt and had on his boots; he would put his red jacket on later. Normally he would come out of the bathroom with just a towel on, but with Winry in the room there was know way he was walking around half naked in front of a girl. But he noted that the mechanic was no were in the room, he saw Al sitting on one of the two beds in the room but no one else. "Hey Al, where'd Winry run off to?"_

_"She said she was going to get some food from a shop, she said that cafeteria food is nasty and as her patient she won't let you eat that stuff" Al said simply wondering what the girl had planned for his older brother; he just hoped it wasn't some prank that pointed a finger at his height or he would never be able to hold his brother back no matter what, good thing Edward had a soft spot for the girl. A guy would come out of something like that with a couple of bruises, along with some item of theirs transmuted into some odd thing…Ed would never hit a girl._

_Ed snickered "Yah that cafeteria food is toxic, I only eat in there when I have no other place to eat" Ed said throwing the towel into the bathroom and went over to the mirror to put his hair back into its braid, at the same time Winry came in at that time holding a few bags._

_"Hey guys! Special delivery!" she said putting the bags on a near by table "I got chicken and I got us some drinks, milk for me…and yes Ed I got you water stop it with the grossed out look…" Winry said looking over at the Elric brother that had a look of death on his face at the mention of his greatest enemy other then Scar or the Sins: Milk._

_Being in the suit of armor Al simply sat at the small table that Winry was setting up, the table was just big enough for two or three people to eat on. She took out the paper plats, forks, knives, glasses, napkins, the chicken and of coarse the bottle of water and the carton of milk. As she was setting up the table Al saw her look over at him and motioned downward with her eyes, Al looked down to see a bottle of some red liquid on her hand, then it disappear into her pocket. Al wondered what it was but he had a pretty good idea. When the table was set Ed came over after brushing and braiding his hair and Winry sat down and Al stayed at his seat on the corner of the table. They began eating and a conversation began; Winry talked about her latest trip to RushValley and all the new Auto Mail she was learning to make. Ed gave her an odd look when she said that she hoped to make an auto mail for Ed that was made of the same metal as his Silver Watch._

_Winry went to grab the pitcher of milk she had poured that was next to the pitcher of water; she lost her grip and the glass pitcher fell knocking over Ed's glass and both shattered on the floor, "Jeez, I've been dropping everything today" Winry said going to grab some napkins; Ed clapped his hands together and began to put the broken pitcher and glass back together, as he was doing that Winry came back to the table and while Ed's back was turned she dumped nearly the whole bottle of the red stuff she had been carrying onto Ed's chicken, when Ed was done and the pitcher and glass now on the floor but not in pieces anymore, Winry went to wipe up the milk and water. She didn't clean up much until she heard Ed coughing._

_"Brother? What's wrong?"_

_"H…hot" Ed said in a raspy voice and was holding his throat which felt like it was on fire._

_"The food is too hot?"_

_"Water!" Ed started to look around; before Ed had time to grab the pitcher left on the table that was full of water she grabbed her near untouched glass of milk._

_"Here Ed!" Winry said thrusting the glass at the older Elric; his mouth and throat burning to much for him to notice anything he grabbed the glass, and unknowingly began to drink the milk. Al looked on in shock; had he been in his human body his silver eyes would have been as round as saucers. His brother, the Full Metal Alchemist was doing something he thought he would never see: Drink MILK!_

_After downing the milk Ed began to breath heavy "What the hell was that!" Ed asked to no one in particular._

_"Milk" Winry said as if it was no big deal; Al watched his brothers gold eyed widen before the older boy began to look a little green in the face. Ed grabbed his throat as if he had just been told he had swallowed poison, which for Ed was poison in his mind._

_"I think I'm going to be sick…" Ed said not looking well._

_"Ed stop being such a baby…" Winry said crossing her arms._

_"No! I'm not kidding" Ed said starting to feel very ill; he started to feel hot despite that he had a light outfit on, his head was spinning and he felt like he was going to be sick any second._

_"Edward?"_

_"Brother are you okay? You're as pale as a sheet"_

_Ed was starting to have a hard time breathing; it was like something was stuck in his throat or something, that along with the constant idea of having consumed milk made him feel even more nauseous and the poor boy ran into the bathroom. Both Al and Winry didn't really have to hear anything to know what was going on in there, even though they heard it either way. "Brother are you alright?" Al asked though he didn't think Ed at the moment was paying any attention to anything else other then emptying his stomach at the moment._

_"What could make him so sick? He's normally healthy and running all over the place" Winry said as a thud was heard from the bathroom._

_"BROTHER!"_

_"ED!"_

_Both Al and Winry opened the door to find Ed unconscious on the floor of the bathroom; his face was flush and dripping with sweat from fever, not only that but his skin looked rather red and irritated. "He can't have measles, mother had us vaccinated for it" Al said looking at the redness of his brothers skin, they watched the older Elric brother curl up in pain, obviously his stomach ach had not subsided even after being emptied._

_"Al we have to get Ed to a doctor!" Winry said lifting the boy off the floor._

_"But there are no doctors here! All of them couldn't get to work due to the heavy flooding all the rain is causing!" Al said starting to get worried over the condition of his older brother._

_"Then I'll have to take him to the one a block away from here, when I came here it was open!" Winry said pulling Ed's arm over her shoulder and walking to the door._

_"Winry it's dangerous!" Al said following the girl out the dorm room and out into the hall._

_"Well something is seriously wrong with Ed; he needs a doctor and fast!" Winry said; Al nodded in agreement with the girl and grabbed his brother's other arm; he helped Winry carry the older Elric brother to the main door of central. He wanted to come along but Winry wouldn't allow it; saying that his armor body might rust, or his blood seal might wash away. Unable to come to make sure his brothers illness wasn't that seriose, AL watched the Rockbell girl carry Ed down the walk way to the front gate._

**End of Flashback**

Now he was waiting back in the dorm; watching the rain fall from the window, hoping to catch sight of his brother hopefully in better heath then he was when he left. With the noise that went on while carrying Ed out all of the Military personal who he and his brother knew wanted to know what was going on. Hughes was busy talking to his wife and told Al that his brother was more then welcome to stay at his house until well, Hawkeye was trying to get Roy to do his paper work and not think of any smart remarks to say once Ed got back. Armstrong was busy shouting in his booming voice about the great things Edward had done, and talking about remedy's he was going to try that had been passed down the Armstrong line. The others were just hoping whatever was wrong with Ed wasn't very serious.

Al glanced out the window again this time to see two figures silhouetted in the thick curtain of rain; both were walking separated from each other, one of them was wearing a long red jacket. "Brother's back!" Al shouted jumping out of his chair and running out of the dorm. His metal feet thumped on the floor of the hall and his metal limbs creaked as he dashed down the hall to be up with his brother and Winry. He was making so much noise that he grabbed the attention of those dormed in the same hall as he and his brother, one of them Kane came out of his dorm to see what was up.

"Al, what's wrong?" Kane asked pushing his glasses back into place.

"My brother's back" was all the younger Elric brother said before continuing his dash down the hall.

Al got to the main entrance just as Winry and Edward came in; Ed still looked pale and that odd rash was still on his skin, but he was grinning ear to ear as if pleased about something. Winry looked like she was trying to get over the shock of something; she looked like she had just been told something unbelievable. "Winry, did the doctor find out what was wrong?" Al asked, Ed's good mood finally broke.

"WHAT HE SAID WAS THE GREATEST NEWS OF MY LIFE!" Ed shouted getting the attention of Hawkeye, Kane, Armstrong, Havoc, Hughes and Roy who came out of their rooms and offices to find out what all the noise was about.

"Edward your back, your brother told us that Winry had taken you to the doctor" Hawkeye said.

"So what's up Ed? Was it just a fever from the on and off rain or something?" Hughes asked who was still holding the huge photo album in his hand.

Ed couldn't help but smirk; "Actually it was something I ate" Ed said grinning wider.

"What!" the word echoed around the hall.

Winry sighed and spoke up "He's allergic to milk…"

"What?" Al said unable to believe what he heard.

"Ed is severely allergic to milk, and had a reaction to the milk I tricked him into drinking" Winry said looking over at the teen.

"You have to be kidding me…" Hughes said finding ironic that Ed was allergic to the drink he hated most.

"Nope she isn't!" Ed said.

"The doctor gave him some medicine to take to fight off the remaining affects of the reaction, and gave him some medication to take in case he drinks or eats anything with milk in it" Winry said pulling out the bottles.

"So Edward how are you feeling?" Armstrong asked.

"I'm fine, still a little flush from the fever but not as bad as when I left" Ed said who was still grinning.

"Well Fullmetal I would think you would find this unlucky" Roy said.

"How could this be unlucky?" Ed said feeling like not even Mustang could ruin his good mood.

"Well with your auto mail weighting you down you have yet to gain so much as an inch in height; milk would have been the only thing to make you grow, now you can't drink it since you're allergic you'll stay that height for the rest of your life"

"DAMN IT ROY! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN MY GOOD MOOD ALL THE TIME?" Ed fumed as Al held him back.

Before the Flame alcamist could reply Haweye grabbed him by the ear and began dragging him back to his office "Come along sir, you have work to do, you and Edward can fight after your done" she said and closed the door of the office behind her.

"GET BACK HERE! I'LL RIP OFF THOSE STUPID GLOVES OF YOURS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT!" Ed threatened trying to get free of his brothers hold.

"Brother you shouldn't be moving around so much when…" before Al could finish Ed stopped moving when he fainted, "When you still have a fever…" Al finished with a sigh.

"Same old Ed no matter what…" Winry said walking down the hall "Come on Al, I'll give you a polish while Ed's resting" Winry said, Al nodded and followed. Al just hoped that when his brother did wake up that he wouldn't try and get back a Roy…


End file.
